Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
