Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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