dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Boobs speak an international language.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
