just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize