i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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