just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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