He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
