butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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