If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
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After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
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