just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
