I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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