These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
