No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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