South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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