she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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