Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
