I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
