big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
