I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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