Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize