oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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