Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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