I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize