I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
