So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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