Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
