i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
