It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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