Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
