just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
