Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
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The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
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If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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