worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
