Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
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The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
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I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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