just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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