I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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