What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
