His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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