Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
