Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
