Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
