i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
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Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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