i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
