oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
