Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
