you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
