OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
