You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
