Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize