jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
well, you know. whores of a feather.