Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken