I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".