lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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