Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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