I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Sober January is a disaster.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
