should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
