before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They have beer where we have blood.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
