yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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