it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize