you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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