What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
