So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
