I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
